My thoughts

You know, life isn't fair at all. I know that's the way it's supposed to be, but I don't understand why. I mean, all of my life I've seen people, including friends of mine, get what they want, whether it's the girl they want, to the car or school they want. Not that I'm complaining about my school; I love it here. This past two weeks I've seen people grow, get into relationships, do something, actually go somewhere. I feel stuck, stuck in a spot that I can't get out of. I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble or a movie theater, just watching everything around me just...go. I feel like I'm rambling, because I am, but I have so many thoughts going around in my head right now, so many feelings and so much confusion, because thing aren't going as well as I would like them to go, and I don't know why. I just want to scream, want to tell someone my thoughts, my problems, but I have no one that I can trust, not really, not here at this school. Anyone that I can really trust lives hundreds of miles away, and they only pick up their phone calls every blue moon, so that's out of the question. I really don't know what to do. I just feel like I''m going to be stuck in this same spot for a while, so I better get used to where I am. I feel like I'm in high school again, and I don't like that feeling. The feeling of the fifth wheel, the feeling of being the odd man out, because I'm not allowed to do things, or I can't make it. I hate it. I am trapped in a sphere that I want to break, but I know that I have to break out of it. I think I am too scared to do that. I want to break out of my shell, but still be myself. I need someone that I can talk to. Really, really badly.